Germans still causing harm to free world

I own and drive a 2004 Audi A6 3.0. I like the car very much, it has just over 60,000 miles. Two Saturdays ago I took it in for an oil change. One week later, the engine light came on and the following morning, it was missing on one cylinder right when I started it to go to church. Within a few seconds the cylinder started firing and everything was normal except the engine light.

At work on Monday, I called Carousel Audi and told them about the problem, asked if it was okay to drive with the light on and made an appointment for the next Saturday. I was under the impression that the engine light was on because of the misfire which I experienced one other time as a result of a bad ignition coil which is German for spark plug wire. Not going to do any harm to the motor.

Tuesday I left work which is 30 miles away from home. I drive just under 80 mph and it was cold Tuesday. Immediately upon entering the highway I notice quite a bit of exhaust out of my rear view mirror. Hmm, I wonder if I should pull over and check it out? Nah, it seems to have subsided and I'm already racing home to get a bite in before interviewing a nanny candidate.

I pull off the highway at my exit and am waiting for the light behind a rather old truck. I immediately smell burning car something but I still have oil pressure and nothing has changed on my guages. I pull into my garage a mile from the highway and it stinks like high heaven. Something is definitely wrong so I pop the hood half expecting flames to shoot out as I open it. Everything just felt hot and burning. Fortunately, no flames but like I said, its hot under there. I pull the oil dipstick and its dry. I wipe it, dip it again and its bone dry. Uh oh. I look under the car and there is a small pool of oil and drips coming from the plastic shield that protects the underside of the vehicle.

Now I'm thinking that I'm out of oil and very lucky that the engine didn't completely seize up on me while driving home. As I'm looking for clues, I see some oil spray near the top drivers side of the motor but its minimal. Doesn't appear to be leaking out of the oil filter which is almost guaranteed if the gasket from the old filter didn't come off when they did the oil change. On to my back I go and the car is low enough to the ground that I really can't even get underneath far enough to check if the oil drain plug is indeed in the pan. Plus the plastic guard is in the way. So I get my ramps down from the rafters but quickly learn that the car is too low to drive onto the ramps. So I jack up one side and slide under as best I can. Still can't get under far enough to see the oil pan and where the plug is supposed to be.

I don't dare start the vehicle considering I don't thnk it has any oil left in the motor. Nor am I going to risk filling it up and driving it to the dealership so I call a tow. I'm hopeful this is Carousel Audi's fault but nothing ever goes my way.

The next morning, I speak with Audi and they tell me it was only 1.5 quarts low on oil and I find that hard to believe since there was nothing showing on the dipstick but that's another story. Anyway, that's good news since it likely means I didn't do any permanent damage to the engine. Its not difficult to warp lifters and valves when metal gets as hot as my car was.

But of course, the oil change was performed flawlessly and the breather valve 'froze' causing pressure build-up in the valve covers causing the seal to blow out. I'd be skeptical were it not for the oil spattering near the top of the motor. The service guy from Audi recommend I replace the serpentine belt since they need to rip things apart and there will be no additional labor involved. Also, I should replace the timing belt since that will be due in another 10-15,000 miles. Total estimate is $2,544 not including the tow charge I already picked up. The misfire he claims is no longer occurring and was likely caused by oil spilling into the number 5 cylinder because of the frozen breather valve.

I decline the timing belt recommendation and get out of there for just over $2,000 with the tow. Car ran good today and I hope it doesn't happen again anytime soon.

Two positive takeaways from this whole expensive endeavor: One, I was NOT the guy I saw talking to the Audi service tech who damned near keeled over when he heard the estimate of $3,850 to repair his car. "$38.50?" he said. "No, $3850" the Audi guy told him. "$385" the guy asked?

"No, three thousand, eight hundred and fifty dollars."

I heard the guys jaw hit the ground with a loud crack.

Second thing is that I was forced to work from home on Wednesday. My wife got off work early and then again at home when I got an afternoon delight.

Why does daddy need such a big tv?

I'm not the guy that sits in front of the tv watching sports at night and weekends. In fact, I'm almost incapable of napping, sitting for more than 10 minutes at a time, or simply resting, enjoying or otherwise NOT doing something to improve my surroundings. I'm envious of those who are capable of these activities but at the same time, I'm glad I'm not them.

Although I am a guy who is fascinated by new tech, and likes when I'm an early adopter, I am also at times someone who will put off what I consider to be purely entertainment tech purchases. For example, televisions - flatscreen, HD. Oil that is. I purchased a new tv about 5 years ago for my basement which gets used (with the recent exception of the kids playing Wii), about once 1 month or less. I bought a 36" tube tv. The sucker weighs about 700 pounds. But it is sufficiently sized for the space and the picture is good. I'd rather be satisfied not knowing how much I'm missing with the latest and greatest and save a buck or several.

However, my 36" tube is not nearly as good as an LCD HD flatscreen. So when I got the email that I could purchase a 240Mhz 52" Sony Bravia through corporate channels for a mere $1,299, I jumped. Immediately.

Anyway, it was supposed to be delivered on Friday but wasn't. It still isn't here and daddy is getting irritated. I'm assured it will be here in time for the Super Bowl party we're hosting but it would have been nice to see the refs blown calls in HD during the Vikings loss to the Saints yesterday.

When my new toy arrives, I will take a picture and write about how awesome it is and probably why you should buy one. That is, if it fits in my small house.

Update: TV arrived about an hour ago - 8 days late. The good news is that it fits (barely). A bit oversized for my house but I'll make do. Like a cruel joke, the delivery guys says, "By the way, make sure you wait at least three hours before plugging it in so that it has time to acclimate to the temperature." It's kind of like when you have to go the the bathroom, the closer you get to a toilet, the worse you have to go.

Obama's first year by the numbers

Highlights and lowlights of Obama's first year, by the numbers:
___
7,949.09—Dow Jones Industrial Average close on Jan. 20, 2009.
10,609.65—Dow Jones Industrial Average close on Jan. 15, 2010.

13 million—Number of people 16 and older unemployed as of January 2009.
14.7 million—Number of people 16 and older unemployed as of December 2009.

7.7 percent—Unemployment rate January 2009
10.0 percent—Unemployment rate December 2009

$787 billion—Cost of economic stimulus approved by Congress.

$10.6 trillion—Outstanding public debt Jan. 20, 2009.
$12.3 trillion—Outstanding public debt Jan. 14, 2009.

$296.4 billion—Federal spending from the financial crisis bailout fund before Jan. 20, 2009.
$173 billion—Federal spending from the financial crisis bailout fund after Jan. 20, 2009.

$165 billion—Amount of bailout funds repaid by banks and automakers.

139—Bank failures between Jan. 20, 2009, and Jan. 14, 2010.

274,399—Number of properties that received forclosure-related notices in January 2009.
349,519—Number of properties that received forclosure-related notices in December 2009.

34,400—U.S. troops in Afghanistan in January 2009.
70,000—U.S. troops in Afghanistan as of Jan. 12, 2010.

319—U.S. military deaths in Afghanistan from January 2009 through Jan. 15, 2010.

139,500—U.S. troops in Iraq in January 2009.
111,000—U.S. troops in Iraq as of Jan. 12, 2010.

152—U.S. military deaths in Iraq from January 2009 through Jan. 15, 2010.

539—Appointments to top federal policy positions submitted to the Senate
352—Appointments confirmed by the Senate.
180—Appointments in top policy positions carried over from the Bush administration.

12—Formal news conferences.

21—Foreign countries visited.
29—States visited.
10—Visits to Camp David.
2—Vacations.

Massachusetts Miracle

There is something big happening in Massachusetts. The people have a real opportunity to let their voices be heard. I can not begin to describe the importance of this election. Watch this inspiring video.

Danny Glover is a poopy butt

Hooray. My first post about a celebrity poopy butt! Danny Glover forgets to filter his stupidity. Hate to link to a YouTube video but here it is. Poopy butt, poopy butt!

Gay's Anatomy

I put the kids to bed about a half hour ago only to come down to my wife watching Grey's Anatomy. I hate this show so I'm not watching but I have to admit, some of the chicks are hot.

Why, oh why?

Why is it that some women seem to think its okay to announce to the entire office that they "feel bloated because they get their period tomorrow?"

Why?

A boy and his dog - The good things about a story with a sad ending

Today I learned that my dog has a grapefruit sized lump of an aggressive cancer and has 2-3 weeks of expected life before he will die uncomfortably. He's 11 1/2 and I have two young boys who know he's not feeling well but aren't aware that I am going to put him down on Tuesday.

Now you know the sad ending so let's get to the good things. My Golden Retriever named Rummy is still my favorite animal on the planet. He has been a loyal, trusted friend when others haven't. He has been my favorite hunting partner, making me look like a better hunter than I really am. He has been the defender of my home while I'm away, the protector of my kids and wife, the always eager, always excited playmate in the yard. He is more capable of giving unconditional love than anyone I've ever met. I love my dog and I will miss him.

If a Republican was in office

The media double standard is incredible. If a Republican were in office (quite probably we wouldn't have had multiple terror attacks on or over U.S. soil) but more specifically, the media scoundrels would likely be calling for impeachment. The fact that the U.S. Government had intelligence on the Ft. Hood terrorist killer AND the underwear bomber AND did nothing to stop them from killing and attempting to kill American citizens is nothing short of criminal.

Installing hardwood floor in kitchen

Installing hardwood that matches up with our entry way and dining room. Extending it thoughout the kitchen and eating area. Removing the old floor is typically the hardest part of a job like this and is proving true this time as well. Despite my house being just 19 years old, there are two layers of vinyl down and both have a 1/4" subfloor that also needs to come up to match the height of the existing wood. Thus far I have spent about 7-8 hours removing the old floor. Almost broke my toe early this morning when a heavy piece of the old floor (roughly 4x4 of wood and inlaid vinyl) landed directly on my toe on the corner. I dropped immediately and screamed in pain, expecting blood to be soaking through my sock and shoe. No blood and it isn't broken but I did change footwear into steel toed boots. Second injury was a crow-bar kickback that flew up, missed my head yet hit my shoulder. "Tis but a scratch." Next up, scraped knuckles. Par for the course. And lastly (for today), jamed my thumb while ramming the crowbar under the vinyl. Feels like its broken but I can bend it at the knuckle. Thumbnail is creased in the middle from end to end and to tip end is black and purple. That started almost immediately. So sore to the touch that I can't even dial on my touch screen cell phone much less use my keyless entry remote. Can't wait for what tomorrow morning brings. Oh yea, about three or four different times I was in such awkward positions yanking and pulling up pieces of vinyl and wood that I keeled over in pain due to hurting my recently surgicaled back. Is surgicaled a word? Oh well, you understand.

Hello and Happy 2010 from Stupid Man Blog!

Welcome and thanks for reading our very first post - ever! We at Stupid Man Blog pride ourselves on stupidly obvious things of interest. We'll point out the many very stupid things that our elected officials (and those pesky czars that are simply appointed without any sort of Congressional oversight), celebrities, wannabe celebrities (think Balloon Boy's parents) and us, your everyday Joes frequently do.

We'll also publish jokes, pictures, personal stories and news stories if they can pass the muster of our high journalistic standards.